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Archive for the ‘5 – The White Rider’ Category

Basically, everything is falling apart for Saruman. Did you know that he has no idea what’s going on with the ring? Heck, he didn’t even know his orcs had prisoners, much less Merry and Pippin. He doesn’t know that the orcs from Isengard and Mordor are at odds. He doesn’t know that the Ringwraiths have taken winged steeds. He doesn’t even think about the fact that Treebeard might be plotting revenge in Fangorn.

Gandalf knows all these things. Because Gandalf is awesome.

The rest of the lyrics are irrelevant.

Legolas hadn’t realized it at the time, but he shot the steed out from under a Ringwraith during the night skirmish on Anduin. I mean, I knew that, but he had no idea. Generally speaking, the feeling of terror kind of let the cat out of the bag.

And then the Ringwraith killed that cat.

One other question remains: was that Gandalf who showed up at night on the edge of Fangorn? Apparently not. He says it wasn’t him, at least. So it must have been Saruman. That’s weird. Why didn’t he kill everyone?

Well, Gandalf is saying that Saruman is really running on thin ice right now. I guess attacking three well-armed dudes would be a risky move.

Here’s another Risk-y move.

For some reason, that relieves Gimli. I don’t know why. He’s strange sometimes. Most of the time, when I really think about it. Still no explanation for why the horses seemed happy while they ran off, which would have made sense if it were Gandalf sneaking around in the night. Horses are also strange.

Days Until The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey: 37

“‘Yes, my good Dwarf,’ he said, ‘it is a…'”

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This is going to be short, because important things are happening in the world.

‘Murka, hard at work.

Gandalf explains that Sauron has no idea that the ultimate goal is to destroy the ring. That would be ridiculous, in his evil-riddled mind. Instead, he’s focused on Minas Tirith, believing that someone will come forth from there with the power of the ring to take him out. The armies of Sauron are massing to head to Minas Tirith. Meanwhile, Saruman is just screwing everything up. By capturing Merry and Pippin, he let Sauron know that two hobbits had been taken – but they were the wrong hobbits. Sauron thinks that Saruman has the ring in his grasp, but neither knows that the orcs were destroyed outside Fangorn. And, to add to it all, Sauron is quite unhappy that Saruman would try to take the ring for himself.

Basically, the evil people are confused, and that’s good for us. It’s like how every time CNN says that something was “disappointing for Republicans”, my election coverage watching group says: “But that means happy for us!” Sauron and Saruman are at odds? That’s a good thing!

Meanwhile, we’re just sitting here in the forest, listening to Gandalf tells us what’s going on. Because a formerly dead guy knows more about world events than we do.

Smart zombie can read!

Speaking of world (national?) events, they’re happening right now. We have one more important thing to get to, and then I’m going to sign off.

Days Until The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey: 38

“‘If no land divided Isengard and Mordor, then they could fight while we watched and waited.'”

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Tomorrow (or today, by the time you’re probably reading this), remember to get out and rock the vote. If you live in the US. And no, sadly, J.R.R. Tolkien is not a candidate. Would that be a good thing? I don’t even know.

Story time for Gandalf!

Seriously, you guys, you need to tell him what’s going on. That whole “being mostly dead” thing kind of put him behind the 8-ball on this one.

It is commonly known that zombies are terrible at billiards.

Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli sit down and relay their journey, highlighted by the fact that Frodo is on his own now. Gandalf knows that, but he didn’t know that Sam had joined him. This is good news! Meanwhile, Gandalf learns about Boromir’s death, which he had missed. He mentions that Merry and Pippin really were good for something, and I assume he means that Boromir “saved” himself by protecting them for as long as he could. And now, those two rascally hobbits are off to destroy Saruman!

This confuses the three hunters, and Aragorn questions if Gandalf is speaking in riddles. No, he really means what he says. The dam will burst. It will.

Also, Sauron thinks that the ring is going to Minas Tirith. Silly Sauron!

He’s cool at parties…sometimes.

In other news, it’s already late, and I have to get up early tomorrow to do my civic duty. IT’S SO HARD THAT I HAVE TO GET UP AND LOOK PRESENTABLE WHILE I GO TO THE LOBBY OF MY BUILDING. WAAAAHHHHH.

Aragorn/Faramir 2016!

Don’t you judge. Faramir would make a great VP.

Days Until The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey: 39

“‘Indeed he is in great fear, not knowing what mighty…'”

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So, yeah. It’s surprising that Gandalf is still alive. Or back to life. Really, just the fact that he’s here is amazing. Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli are incredulous, and want answers. Gandalf doesn’t blame them for that. Nor does he put them at fault for being wary when he approached. And being dressed in white certainly isn’t his usual deal. That’s strange, too.

And, after Labor Day! What nerve!

However, he knows something about their movements since his…departure. Gwaihir, the lord of the eagles, has been doing some scouting for him. Legolas remembers seeing an eagle in the distance quite some time ago. Gandalf knows that Frodo and the ring are long gone, and he did his best to keep the ring from Sauron’s grasp.

That’s helpful! I would assume that he means that he did something to keep Frodo from showing too much to Sauron at the Seat of Seeing on Amon Hen. That seems to have been the only moment of true danger to the ring so far. Meanwhile, Gandalf has just been keeping an eye on them as much as he can with Gwaihir.

Those eagles sure come in handy. Why couldn’t they just drop the ring…

SHUT UP.

Ca-caw.

However, Gandalf isn’t quite Gandalf. He’s different. In some ways, he’s Saruman, but better. With Saruman turning to the dark side, someone has to fill that void, I guess. Gandalf also seems to forget the name “Gandalf”, remembering it from afar when the three hunters bring it up. Don’t worry, he’ll be back to normal in no time.

Days Until The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey: 40

“‘How do things go with him?'”

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Today was a very good day. To open things, I got a new Lego set.

Uruk-hai Army!

Then, I enjoyed a burger at my favorite burger joint in the world, Edzo’s. Then I saw Cloud Atlas. Then I went to a wine tasting. In all of this, I have to write this blog? Oh, right.

This old man is really up to something. He just wants to know what’s up with Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli, but they’re unwilling to give him any information. He knows they’re tracking Merry and Pippin, anyway. This all seems fine to him. He lets them relax, by some sort of spell, but Gimli charges when the man reveals his white robes. It’s totally Saruman!

No…it’s not. He reveals his face. It’s totally Gandalf.

And now the world explodes.

All will be explained, kitteh.

This is a point where all the rules that we traditionally know get broken. In Middle-earth, like any other fictional universe, we’re taught to believe that when you die, you die. No tricks. Even elves, in their immortality and such, are followers of this rule. It takes battle to bring them down, but if they die, they stay dead. Now, all of a sudden, Gandalf comes back to us.

Here’s the thing, though: Gandalf never uses the full extent of his powers. He’s better than everyone, and he knows it. However, he’s been prevented from using his strength to meddle with the affairs of lower races. This is different. He’s so important, he can transcend death. We’ll get to that. It’ll be explained, but that just goes to show you how important he is to this world.

Moral to the story: Gandalf is better than you. And go see Cloud Atlas.

Days Until The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey: 41

“His hair was white as snow in the sunshine; and gleaming white was his robe; the eyes under his deep brows were…”

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He comes. Slowly but surely, the old man approaches.

Well…maybe not so slowly. He’s just going to spring up that slope like a goat.

Are you…talkin’ to me?

Gimli yells at Legolas to shoot. The old man thinks otherwise. Legolas weakly drops his bow, and the man says that he only wishes to talk. He continues climbing towards them silently. Soon enough, he’s there. He only wants to know one thing: what are these folk doing here? What a silly bunch this is!

You playing tricks, old man?

I’d say not. He seems to have some power over Legolas, making him drop his bow, and Gimli stands stock still, even though he’s dying to either attack or get the heck out of there. Aragorn seems untouched, but also he didn’t want to attack anyway. Something fishy is going on.

I said…are you…talkin’ to me?

Who is he? What is he? Is that a bit of white cloth that Gimli spies under his rags? What does that mean? What does anything mean? What is the meaning of life, the universe, and everything? How many licks to the center of a Tootsie Pop? HOW MANY LICKS TO THE CENTER OF SOUR BILL?!

These are the defining questions of our time.

Also, when is not too early to start counting down to the release of the first Hobbit movie?

Days Until The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey: 42

Hey, at least that answers one of the questions. Two, even!

“‘As for what I wished to say, I have said it: What may you be…'”

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Much like Merry and Pippin, Aragorn, Legolas, and Gimli want a breath of fresh air and a look about the surrounding area. Let’s climb up on that ledge! Sadly, no Treebeard this time.

I forgot to mention yesterday that Aragorn puts the hobbit-tracks at two days old. That means that Merry and Pippin are already at the Entmoot by now.

“Bad news, guys. We’re so far behind, we’re basically irrelevant.”

There isn’t much to see looking around. The hill faces south and east, and just looks back over the land they’ve come from. Legolas peers around with his superior vision and sees…uh-oh…the mysterious old man! He’s walking slowly this way, dodging between the trees. The three hunters tense, and Gimli shouts at Legolas to loose an arrow. No one moves. Everything is still.

Who cares about Merry and Pippin anymore? We know where they are. They’re okay. So…what’s up with this old dude? He’s coming, and he means business. Gimli wants to just shoot him, which is clearly the wrong decision. Then we can’t learn anything! And fantasy is so much more about learning than it is about shooting first. This ain’t no FPS.

LEEEROOY JENKINS!

Can you imagine what would happen if Gimli has Legolas shoot the old man on the spot? This story gets very different. And I think our friends probably die.

But hey, morals! Don’t shoot a helpless old man. That’s generally frowned upon. Even in creepy forests.

“‘We may not shoot an old…'”

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