Page 694 – “Chapter 7 – Journey to the Cross-roads”

I have a sinking feeling that this chapter is going to include a lot of walking.

The Titanic agrees.

Frodo and Sam eat breakfast with Faramir before they get ready to go. He is giving them a small bit of food, and warns them against drinking any water that flows down from Mordor. Otherwise, they should be alright. He also mentions that scouts have returned with news of…nothing. The roads are eerily empty and quiet, leading Faramir to believe that a great strike or something big is imminent. In the meantime, the hobbits might be able to slip around quite easily. Faramir also gifts Frodo and Sam two walking-sticks, elaborately carved and shortened to their height.

First Mentions:

-Imlad Morgul: The valley of Minas Morgul, terrifying and deadly. You know how Rivendell is also called Imladris? Look, a similarity in language!

Aren’t carved walking-sticks a little silly to be taking into Mordor? Those are going to get beat up. They’re not really practical, are they? The last thing that I would ever want as a decorated heirloom is something like a walking-stick – something that I’m going to take into the wilderness and throw around a lot of the time. It’s like having a a diamond-encrusted nail file. What’s the point?

The interesting line here is in Faramir’s mention of the quiet roads. He says that a storm is coming, seemingly having a conversation that is moved to a Gandalf-Pippin talk in the movie.

This scene!

Will that still happen? I could see it, but the lines here are very similar, enough so to make me think that it just moved almost straight over.

What doesn’t happen? Faramir doesn’t take Frodo and Sam to Osgiliath. Pshaw.

Words My Computer Didn’t Like:

-Imlad

-lebethron

-woodwrights

Woodwrights write on wood, right?

“‘To have found it turns evil to great good.’”

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Page 671 – “‘I see that there is some great tale of dread in this…’”

Yes, things seem bleak when you’re told that Gandalf is dead. But…wait. Faramir knows very little about Gandalf. In fact, he knows very little about the ring itself. I think he doesn’t even know that it’s a ring at all!

A great weapon it is.

He knows that Gandalf came many a time to Minas Tirith seeking knowledge, but the nature of what he was looking for is lost. Upon having these mysterious dreams, Faramir started to gather that they had something to do with what Gandalf was looking to find. He wonders if things would have changed if Gandalf had shared his knowledge with Boromir before he left on his journey for answers. Would Boromir still be alive? Of course, if Boromir knew the ring’s value in battle, he would have desired it.

Faramir, a different man than his brother, vows to Frodo that he has no intentions to take this thing – Isildur’s Bane – whatever it is.

First Mentions:

-the Silver Crown: The crown of the king of men. Oh, Aragorn puts on a silver crown at the end of the third movie? See, some details remained correct.

Well, that’s nice! For the first time, someone turns the ring down. I guess Gandalf did that, too. And so did Aragorn. Oh, so we get to put Faramir in their company now? SEE, I TOLD YOU HE WAS OKAY.

Stop looking at me with your eyes of perpetual disdain, Benedict Cumberbatch.

Once again, Faramir shows his conservatism, hoping that things will be as they once were, with the kings in power again, the White Tree in bloom, and peace throughout the land. I learned in high school history that this sort of past-driven political thought is actually something more akin to…fascism. And I’m agreeing with it? This is weird.

No one dies today.

“‘I would see the White Tree in flower again in the courts of the kings, and the Silver Crown return, and Minas Tirith in peace: Minas Anor again as of old, full of light, high…’”

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Page 661 – “…tattered, his corslet of overlapping brazen plates…”

Late night blog post! Weeeeeeee!

I always feel like I’m letting someone down when this happens.

More battle! Excitement!

Sam watches the battle of man against man, realizing that it is the first time that he’s seen two peoples of the same race have at it. That’s not a common thing in Middle-earth. Yikes. He doesn’t like it. However, that all goes away with one view of an oliphaunt.

First Mentions:

-the Valar: Have we not officially mentioned the Valar? They’re like gods around these parts! Big deal! Beings created by Eru himself!

Olpihaunt?! Oh, boy!

Yes, indeed. An oliphaunt thunders through the forest wildly. It’s enormous, and a single Southron warrior tries to control it, to no avail, and it’s headed straight towards Frodo and Sam’s hiding place. Fortunately, it swerves off, and Sam gets to hypothesize about what happens to it after this battle. Does it live? Die? We’ll never know.

Oliphaunt, you guys!

…you guys?

All in all, the scene from the movie comes in full right now. Frodo and Sam (mostly Sam) watch the battle from the ridge, and the oliphaunt charges towards them, though it changes course just in time. Good job, Peter Jackson, that’s just what happens! Although, it is all in a different order.

Details…

Words My Computer Didn’t Like:

-Valar

-Mûmak

There’s thunder outside, you guys. I guess that means it’s officially spring. I like thunder. I mean, I used to hate it, but now I’ve grown up. I like rain. Rain is cool.

So are bowties.

Anyway, bask in the glory that is the oliphaunt, just like Sam is, and we’ll all be alright. He doesn’t seem to realize the danger that he’s in. Maybe one day.

“What became of him Sam never heard: whether he escaped to roam the wild for a time, until he perished far from his home or was trapped in some deep pit; or whether he raged on until he plunged in the Great River and was swallowed up.”

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Page 660 – “‘…ventures. But his life is charmed…’”

This nice, peaceful chapter is in for a rude awakening. Frodo and Sam’s chat with Mablung and Damrod dwindles into a tense silence as they listen for the sounds of the ambush. Sam peeks over a ridge and watches the men of Gondor find their hiding places. It’s all set.

Any moment now…

Sam dozes off, but awakes to the sounds of horns. The battle is joined. The noise comes closer and closer, and everyone watches the rangers of Gondor rout the Southrons. Suddenly, one man comes lurching down into their hollow, shot through with arrows.

So, yes, as I mentioned, this is backwards in the movie, where Frodo and Sam watch the battle before being caught by Faramir. More dramatic that way? I guess so. Have we established a better relationship with the men in the book’s chronology? Yes.

SOMETIMES, BOOKS AND MOVIES DO IT DIFFERENTLY, AND THAT’S OKAY.

In rare cases, BOTH are wrong.

So far, it looks like the men of Gondor are winning the battle quite easily. And, that’s okay, because we already know that we should be rooting for them. That’s another advantage of meeting them first. I just really hope that Mablung and Damrod don’t secretly resent Faramir for holding them back to guard Frodo and Sam. The hobbits clearly aren’t a threat at all. Although, I guess staying out of the danger of the battle isn’t exactly a bad thing.

Words My Computer Didn’t Like:

-smithying

There’s going to be a distinct lack of a sentence in this post. Find it.

“His scarlet robes were…”

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Page 659 – “…shadow of the dark bay-trees, two men remained on guard.”

I’m going to be writing this as I sit with my roommate as he finishes the first season of Game of Thrones. This should be good.

Nevermind. I finished this first.

LolzerBEANs.

Today in Middle-earth, Sean Bean is already dead. Faramir has left Frodo and Sam with two guards, who seem friendly enough. They get to talking, and the two men explain that their purpose is to sneak around on this side of Anduin and cause trouble for Sauron’s forces. They have word that a company of men is due up from the south, and they plan on ambushing them.

Oh, so that’s backwards in the movie then.

First Mentions:

-Mablung: One of the guards. This name doesn’t sound like a real name AT ALL.

-Damrod: The other guard. His name sounds a little too much like “Nimrod”, so I laugh at that.

-Umbar: Region south of Gondor, ruled by corsairs.

Speaking of this new place, Mablung and Damrod tell the story of an old alliance between Gondor and the men of the south. Though they were never quite friends, the south did see Gondor as a ruling entity some long years ago. However, with Sauron’s power ever growing, the Southrons (as they call them) moved to make alliance with the Dark Lord. They now move freely in the lands of Ithilien, once governed by Gondor, but now under the hold of evil.

For some reason, the roads of Ithilien always remind me of Rome’s Appian Way.

Unfortunately, Mablung and Damrod don’t have a very optimistic look about this war. They see Gondor failing. Not surprisingly, then, they refer to Sauron with the capitalized “He”. Ah, so this is how Sauron’s evil works on the minds of simple men.

Words My Computer Didn’t Like:

-Mablung

-Damrod

-Southrons

-Umbar

So…will there be oliphaunts?

No one dies today.

“‘He leads now in all perilous…’”

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Page 654 – “‘Not make the nassty red tongues,’ hissed Gollum.”

Just so you know, that has nothing to do with making faces, and all to do with fire.

But what about a face…OF FIRE?!

Naturally, Gollum has a big problem with Sam’s intent to cook the rabbits. Raw is better! They argue for a while, with Sam truthfully saying that, if Gollum won’t eat the lembas, it seems fair that Sam shouldn’t have to eat raw rabbit. Gollum sulks away to see if he can catch his own (raw) meal, but Sam soon calls him back. He wants herbs and such to cook the rabbits with. Gollum has even more issues with this. Then Sam starts to lecture him on the comings and goings of potatoes.

PO. TA. TOES.

Today’s Gollum Meter: 71 – “Minus points for lack of knowledge about potatoes.”

No, before we get into it, I do not know if Sam will utter the colloquial “Boil ‘em, mash ‘em, stick ‘em in a stew” line. Seems too much like it came from the movie rather than the book. Stay tuned, though.

Of course, potatoes aren’t in season, which is probably the biggest conflict of the novel so far. HOW DARE THEY? Sam wants potatoes for the stew, badly. Unfortunately, Mother Nature doesn’t seem like she wants to cooperate. All this time we’ve been worrying about Sauron and his dark plans, but now the true nemesis is revealed!

This is a real thing.

Words My Computer Didn’t Like:

-carrotses

-ta

“Ta”, as in the second syllable of “potatoes”. I went back and forth over whether or not I should consider that its own word. I decided, as this is more of an act of computer shaming than anything else, that we might as well make fun of it for not recognizing this. SHAME.

No one dies today.

“‘What’s more, if you turn over a new leaf, and keep it turned, I’ll cook you some taters one of these days. I will: fried…’”

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Page 632 – “…beyond all healing – unless the Great Sea should enter in…”

Instead of buckling down and trying to get started across this wasteland, the hobbits decide to find a place to rest. I guess I can’t fault that. However, finding that place to rest is part of the problem. At first they shelter under an overhanging rock mound, but there are fumes pouring out of it. That doesn’t last long.

As pictured.

They scuttle away, led by Gollum, to find a crater of sorts, with an oozing puddle at the center. They stop here, and Frodo and Sam take turns to sleep and take watch. Neither can find much sleep, but when Sam finally does, Frodo goes a bit crazy. He sees dark faces in the sky before falling prey to sleep himself. Sam wakes to see Gollum standing over Frodo, creepily talking to himself.

Today’s Gollum Meter: 53 – “Woah there! This looks bad. Very bad. Don’t push it.”

Like I said, things are going to get worse before they get better. There isn’t even a safe place to rest anymore! When your best option is a wrecked crater-like hole with a poisonous pool at the bottom, things aren’t going very well for you. Add to that, Frodo hilariously slides down the slope of the hole when he falls asleep. Whoops.

Frodo suffers greatly.

The end of the page leads us into something that will be fun to watch tomorrow: Gollum’s chat with himself. Will that be confusing? The movie did a pretty good job with that, I thought. I’ll compare it to what it’s based on in the first place.

No one dies today.

“‘Yes, yes, my precious,’ came the answer, ‘we promised: to save…’”

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Page 621 – “‘…guessed it.’ A glint came into his eyes…”

Time for riddles?

Gollum recites one of the riddles from The Hobbit: the one about fish. Of course, this reminds Sam that everyone has to eat. Did Frodo not think about this? Gollum will need to eat, too.

I have yet to learn if rabbits are actually this easy to break.

But…wait. How did Gollum survive in the wild by himself for so long? It’s not like he’s carrying around a pack. Sam resolves not to let Gollum eat either or him Frodo. Good call.

Day eventually breaks, to Gollum’s dismay. Frodo tries to argue that daylight is a good thing, but Gollum responds that the sunlight opens them up to be seen by orcs. Not a bad thing, darkness is.

Today’s Gollum Meter: 67 – “Hey! That’s pretty smart. Now you’re really being helpful.”

Yeah, Gollum knows a little bit more about hiding in the wilderness, since he did it for so long. Not only did he once run away and hide from his own people, and then live in the deep caves for generations, he’s been secretly following the ring for years, too. He sneaked out after it through Mirkwood, and had been following the Fellowship Company since at least through Moria. He’s basically the Bear Grylls of Middle-earth.

You’ve got a little something there.

So, contrary to the movies, Frodo, Sam, and Gollum will travel only at night. What? Is that so hard to show? Gollum had no fear of the sun in the films. That’s just not true at all.

No one dies today.

“The three of them settled down to rest at the foot of the rocky…”

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Page 609 – “Thunder growled and rumbled in the distance…”

When was the last time I posted one of these actually after midnight? Will I be able to hammer this out in 15 minutes? Questions of our times.

STOP.

Frodo and Sam praise the rope. Good on those elves. By this point, the rain has basically stopped, and Frodo really wants to try to climb down this cliff tonight. Sam doesn’t think that’s the greatest idea, but when has Sam ever stopped anyone?

Then, there’s this weird paragraph talking about the movements of the storm, with the strange inkling that Sauron has something to do with it.

I mean…I guess that’s possible. It’s been said that Sauron has control of weather near to him, but this storm extends out over Gondor and Rohan. He is said to be stretching out his power to intimidate the armies of men before the coming war. Yes? Maybe. There’s nothing that says that isn’t possible, so I’m going to go with the path of least resistance.

Which is how things like the Grand Canyon are formed, so there must be something good there.

Is that enough? MUST WRITE MORE.

I don’t think The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey won any Oscars tonight. Well, I don’t think that was really…unexpected. When you’re being measured up against the earlier films, it’s going to be hard to come out on top. You set the bar too high, Peter Jackson. You have two more movies to get back to that mountaintop. That very Lonely Mountain…top.

No one dies today.

WOO! Done in time!

“But here, over the desert and the reeking marshes the deep blue sky of evening opened once more, and a few pallid stars…”

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Page 595 – “‘…not at once guess the nature of the Stone.’”

Yes, indeed, this is how Saruman communicated with Mordor. That’s clear now, right? Gandalf had thought to test the stone out for himself, but was saved from that ordeal by Pippin so eagerly taking it upon himself. Bad things could have happened if Gandalf became revealed to Sauron, so…thanks?

Someone’s gotta take one for the team.

Gandalf finds a way to take this advantage. Sauron probably thinks that Pippin (who must have the ring) is at Isengard. He’ll focus his attention there until he learns of its downfall. For now, Gandalf will take the time he can to ride ahead with Pippin. Théoden and his men, meanwhile, must ride with all speed to Helm’s Deep.

Suddenly, a dark winged shape passes over the moon. Time to go!

Aha! Look! A reason that this scene takes place outside! It doesn’t seem to notice everyone huddled on the ground, but a Nazgûl casually flies by. You can’t do that inside Meduseld at Edoras. Take that, film interpretation!

Didn’t I mention the other day that there would be some advantages to be gleaned from this situation? Well, here you go. If Sauron is focused on trying to pry the ring off Saruman, he won’t be looking for it to come from somewhere else. Especially not from two dudes just walking into Mordor. As you may know, you can’t just simply do that. As if it already wasn’t unlikely, it’s more unexpected if Sauron thinks that the ring is somewhere completely different.

Such as…in space!

It’s all going to work out just fine. As long as Pippin stops doing stupid things.

“‘Let not the swift wait for the slow! Ride!’”

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