Page 692 – “‘…if one sees a friend bound unwitting to his own harm.’”

It’s been one heck of a weekend.

Here I am, writing this post from the Jersey Shore (no, not like that), at the end of a very long day. Is this a diary, then? What do I say?

Hello, Diary, let’s talk about some stuff.

No, not like that.

Where should Frodo go? Faramir will not lead him to Minas Morgul and the passes above. Evil things are said about that place. In fact, Faramir offers little help at all. Whatever can Frodo do?

So…what is life worth? BIG QUESTION DAY. Frodo wants to…needs to get into Mordor. Should he fail, the world will fall, and all may die. Faramir is worried that his only option is to take the mysterious and dangerous road of Cirith Ungol. Faramir believes this will end poorly. But what are the other options? Faramir thinks that if Frodo goes by way of Cirith Ungol, he will die. The only other way in is through the Black Gate. That way, Frodo will die. Faramir could help him, and lead him through the dangers. No, for then Faramir will die. Every route is death. Which way should they go? Is there a correct choice? Does it even matter?

“I am bound,” Frodo says, “by solemn undertaking to the Council, to find a way or perish in the seeking.” Heroic. Duty-driven. Ned Stark would love it. And, as such, is failure a success? Should Frodo die in trying to destroy the ring, does he fulfill his duty? If so, then no risk is too great. He must try. He may fail, but not to try would be the true failure.

I guess Yoda might be wrong in this case. There is some try. There is do. There is always do. There is also try. There is no not trying. Even that little green man might get that.

You have to try. Otherwise it’s not worth it. It’s wrong.

No one dies today.

“‘Then what would you have me do?’”

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Page 691 – “‘This I will not have secret,’ said Faramir.”

Not much time today. Make it quick!

Make it QUACK!

Faramir wants to know what the deal is. The FULL deal. Frodo explains, since Gollum won’t. Faramir is afraid of this pass, Cirith Ungol, but won’t stop them. He wants to, and warns Frodo that he feels like Gollum is leading him into a trap, but he won’t, in good faith, keep Frodo from following where he will.

Today’s Gollum Meter: 43 – “There’s a darkness in there. Stop that.”

Literally, Faramir has one of those moments where he tells Frodo that he wants to stop him, but he won’t. He can’t, as a good and faithful man, true to his word. That’s nice.

He truly wants to give Gollum a safe accompaniment to a location outside Gondor, like, to let him free, away from Frodo, and be shown the way. That’s super nice!

It’s nice.

No one dies today.

“‘For it seems less evil to counsel another man to break troth than to do so oneself, especially…’”

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Page 682 – “‘…but first tell me only, if you will, whither you wish to go…’”

Conflict resolution, and an end to the chapter. We’re all friends now.

As pictured: Faramir and the hobbits.

Frodo, now trusting Faramir, admits that their goal is to take the ring into Mordor, and destroy it in Mount Doom. Frodo, overcome, passes out. Faramir carries him to bed, and has another set for Sam, who tells Faramir that his choice not to meddle is the right one. Faramir reminds Sam of Gandalf, and it’s safe to say that that’s a great compliment.

If you’re comparing a near stranger to Gandalf, it’s quite clear that you’ve become friends. Unless Sam is throwing that around lightly (and we’ve noticed that his decision making isn’t the best sometimes), it’s very high praise for Faramir. For his part, Faramir has remarked that Frodo has a sort of elvish air about him, so the compliments have been mutual. He did also praise gardeners in the Shire earlier, so Sam gets a small piece, too.

And that’s all you get.

We can all sleep now in peace, as friends. Friends are good. Hobbits are friends, not food.

Were they ever food?

No one dies today.

“‘Maybe you discern from far away the air of Númenor. Good night!’”

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Page 657 – “…and Sam sprang to their feet, putting back to back…”

It’s time for the age-old conversational game…WHAT ARE THOSE THINGS?!

WHAT ARE THEY?

The men introduce themselves as being from Gondor, and are led by the captain, Faramir. Of course, they have no clue what they have in front of them. All four men are confused. Frodo and Sam take issue with the insult that they’re not as fair as elves, but do offer their names. Faramir asks about a third companion – Gollum. Frodo no longer knows where he is, and it appears that he’s disappeared for the moment.

First Mentions:

-Faramir: Captain of Gondor, and Boromir’s brother. Not coincidentally, Frodo immediately thinks of Boromir.

Oh, so they’re from Gondor, and that basically empties the scene of a whole lot of tension. Yes, we’ve learned that men are greedy and partially evil, but they can’t be that bad if we know they’re from Gondor instead of Mordor. They also don’t see Frodo and Sam as terribly threatening, and start to laugh at them pretty early on. Trust seems to be pretty easy to come by in this relationship.

It was easier before the internet.

Today’s Gollum Meter: 65 – “I don’t know. You’re feeling sketchy.”

I don’t know what else. I’m feeling distracted today. Sometimes, I’m still shocked that I’m able to write as much as I come up with. It’s been a lot.

Words My Computer Didn’t Like:

-gangrel

Yep.

No one dies today.

“‘We have come by long ways – out of Rivendell, or Imladris as some…’”

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Page 649 – “The growing light revealed to them a land already less barren…”

And they walk some more.

No, but really. Today’s page just talks about how the land around them is becoming less threatening now that they’re moving south, though the shadow and fear of the Black Gate is still present in the back of everyone’s minds. Their first night’s day’s rest is fine, though Sam can’t find much sleep. He’s too worried about trying to find a good hot meal. Moving along, they end up taking the road itself, even though that is truly the more dangerous route. It slowly dwindles from a main thoroughfare to a small, lightly used cart path.

They see me cartin’. They hatin’.

Today’s Gollum Meter: 75 – “Good, solid, round number. Okay.”

So, things are getting better, which is weird. Everything’s been deteriorating for so long that I’ve gotten quite used to it. If the grass is greener on the other side, then this must be the other side.

And that sounds pretty strange. Break on through, y’all.

Hey look! Doors!

Oh, and great. More walking. Have a good night everybody.

No one dies today.

“It dwindled at last to a country cart-road little used; but it did not…”

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Page 648 – “Chapter 4 – Of Herbs and Stewed Rabbit”

Hey, a chapter where the title doesn’t explicitly say what’s going to happen! Handy, that. All we can tell is that one point there will be herbs and stewed rabbit.

None yet, though. Frodo and Sam finish up their rest by eating a little, as Gollum explains that more food and fresh water will be in abundance further on their chosen path. They set out once again, marching just to the side of the road leading west. The night is dark, with the only real light coming from a red glow at the top of the towers at the Black Gate. When that disappears, they can tell that they’ve turned the corner south around the mountains. It’s been a long night’s walk. Gollum is trying to push them as fast as they can go.

Today’s Gollum Meter: 78 – “You’re better at pushing the hobbits to keep walking than anyone else I’ve seen so far!”

The best combination of Gollum and a drill sergeant my wildest nightmares could have imagined.

Like I was saying, Gollum actually has a plan for how far he wants to get each night, and he’s sticking to it. It seems like every other march so far has been defined by how far our heroes can walk before they get too tired to go on. Then it’s time to stop! With Gollum, he won’t let them stop until they’ve gotten as far as is necessary. They’ve only gotten one rest as it is.

Thinking back earlier, this probably wasn’t a problem in the marshes. With so many obstacles, they could only go so far before day would break, making them call a halt. Distance tiring them out wasn’t really a thing. Now, with less impeding them, they could walk forever, if it weren’t for that problem of weariness.

Also, tattoos of your inner workings.

With almost eight leagues behind them, Gollum allows the march to end. If it’s around 30 leagues to the crossroads, he’s on his pace to get there in around four days. Hopefully nothing will go wrong. It never does, right?

No one dies today.

“They had then walked almost eight leagues, and the hobbits could not have gone any further, even if they had dared.”

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Page 647 – “‘That,’ said Sam, when he had finished reciting…”

Back to the grind today, after Sam finishes the poem. He reiterates how wonderful it would be to see an oliphaunt, and that he would have done anything to get a look, even if that meant taking a risk to break their cover. Gollum maintains that he has no idea what Sam’s talking about.

Sméag-otter.

Frodo, lightened by the laughter from Sam’s poem, finds the effort to make a decision. He agrees to try Gollum’s secret way.

And that’s the end of this chapter!

Today’s Gollum Meter: 74 – “Okay. Things are good.”

Once again, Sam is the least intelligent one here. Alright, I won’t debate how cool it would be to see an oliphaunt come striding their way, but is it really worth giving away their position? What if the entire quest to destroy the ring was derailed because Sam needed to see an oliphaunt? That won’t win you any awards. Especially when you’re dead.

Cool image: Frodo wishes that they had an army of oliphaunts to ride and break down the Black Gate. And give Gandalf a white one to ride at the head.

AHHHHH RUN AWAY!

Words My Computer Didn’t Like:

-Shiretalk

-Sunlands

-Swertings

-oliphauntses

Long story short: if it’s a capitalized compound word beginning with “s”, it’s probably not a real word. Be on the lookout for that.

No one dies today.

“‘Soft and quick as shadows we must be!’”

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Page 644 – “Its name was Cirith Ungol, a name of dreadful rumour.”

Oh, and there’s the name. Frodo spends a lot of time today wondering what Aragorn or Gandalf would have said about this place. Probably bad things. Sadly, they’re both far away, and Frodo actually still thinks that Gandalf is dead somewhere. Even were he to be around, it’s unlikely that he could have traveled far into Mordor. Has anyone?

Well…Gollum has. Anyone trustworthy?

Who you callin’ untrustworthy?

The day passes with Frodo, Sam, and Gollum sitting uneasily and quietly in this hollow, unseen by any eyes.

First Mentions:

-Cirith Ungol: That’s the name of the pass, duh! Think of it this way: Ungoliant was a great evil spider (aren’t they all evil?) of the olden times. Hm…Cirith Ungol? Ah.

Don’t ever forget that Frodo still assumes that Gandalf is dead. Can you imagine reading all of Frodo’s story not knowing that the wizard has come back? That’s what Frodo and Sam are doing, FOR REALZ. Gandalf is hope and wisdom, and the hobbits think that he’s gone. Hope and wisdom, gone from the world. That doesn’t sound fun at all! Anyway, that’s what they’re dealing with, and I tend to forget about it sometimes. Don’t! It’s so much more impressive that they’re able to keep going when you consider that.

Today’s Gollum Meter: 67 – “Nothing much I can do but try to trust you now…”

In other news, we get a bit of a crossover today to let us know that Aragorn and Gandalf (who we’ve mentioned) are currently speaking with Saruman on the steps of Orthanc right now. Synchronicity!

Many miles away, something crawls to the surface of a dark Scottish lake.

Words My Computer Didn’t Like:

-Ungol

“Cirith” is already acceptable. I like when that works out. MY COMPUTER IS LEARNING, YOU GUYS.

No one dies today.

“Frodo’s head was bowed over his knees, but Sam leaned back, with hands behind his head, staring out of his hood at the empty sky.”

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Page 643 – “‘…must not go to the terrible city.’”

About a third of the way down this page, Frodo asks a question. Gollum mutters and steps around everything so much that the question remains relatively unanswered by the bottom of the page. So that’s what today’s going to be about.

At first, Gollum describes this secret way into Mordor. It’s a high stair, climbing the mountain pass. It finds itself going into a tunnel before coming out onto the plains of Mordor. This is the way that Gollum “escaped” from Mordor many years ago, and found this passage by accident. Of course, we all are suspicious of the fact that Gollum’s escape may have been planned. Aragorn said so earlier, but the mention of him scares Gollum into more muttering. And that’s how we get to where we get.

With the help of Apple Maps!

Frodo assumes that this path must be guarded, some way or another. That’s what Gollum skirts around answering. As it sounds, he traveled this way so long ago that things may have changed. The stair may have vanished completely!

WHAT.

Today’s Gollum Meter: 63 – “Grumble. Grumble. GIVE US THE INFORMATION.”

Now, one doesn’t even stop to think about the fact that Gollum found this passage while going west. We’re going to need to find it going east, which may not be as easy as you’d think. Two directions are bound to look different each way. Not to mention the whole problem that Gollum took this road so long ago that most of his information could very well be outdated. It’s very much like using an old road map. New roads? What?! That exit is closed now? My favorite were the ones that tried to show you where the construction was on the highways. Sure, like there’s ANY way that that would be accurate. Do you not know how road construction works?

Half the street is unnecessary anyway.

In the end, Frodo and Sam are going to trust everything they know to this vague plan of Gollum’s. But, what else can they do? Again, this entire journey is dumb as it is. Why not? That should be their motto.

No one dies today.

“The name of the perilous place and the high pass he could not tell, or would not.”

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Page 642 – “‘…conquered it long ago.’”

Yesterday, I was trying to figure out why the road past Minas Morgul would be safer than the Black Gate. That’s what today answers.

Sam voices the very concerns that I had. Why bother traveling so much longer and further south when the outcome is probably going to be the same. Sauron watches every way into his kingdom, yes?

According to Gollum, this way isn’t watched as much. Yes, Sauron knows everything that goes on along this road. Yes, there are terrible things in Minas Morgul. You get it. However, Sauron holds the crossings of Anduin. He would look there first, where an army would have to fight its way across, or take a large amount of boats. Both would be obvious.

Unless, you know…stealth boat.

Gollum continues to fight off Sam’s questions, ultimately saying that, while this is a long shot, so is EVERYTHING THEY’RE TRYING TO DO. One does not simply walk into Mordor! We’ve been over this. Everything is going to be wildly difficult, but you have to try something.

Today’s Gollum Meter: 82 – “This makes so much sense! Thanks!”

Remember when I brought up the fact that Gollum refers to Sauron has “He” with a captial “h”? Godlike, it seems. Frodo and Sam haven’t done so. Sauron is just another dude to them. Not so starting today. Sam brings in the capitalization, interestingly enough. Is that a symptom of spending a lot of time with Gollum and his strange perspective? Possibly. I can’t imagine that Sam’s opinion of Sauron is changing drastically, but this is just one of those things that you can do in writing to emphasize certain things. I’ll keep an eye on that.

SO WILL EYE.

In case you were wondering, Sauron only speaks in capital letters. Interesting…

Words My Computer Didn’t Like:

-Moontower

Silly mashed-together compound noun words. They cause so much trouble.

No one dies today.

“‘But if master says I must go or I will go, then he must try some way. But he…’”

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